Dear Friends,
I hope the start of this year has been gentle with you. Like many of you, I have felt surprised and at times overwhelmed by global events. Quite honestly, January felt like an entire year. For the more sensitive ones, it was a heavy month.
Thank you to both returning friends and new friends. I am deeply grateful and quite astonished to see this small space reaching people across the world. I am learning of places I never knew. Shout out to new friends in the Indian Ocean Territories.
An especially warm welcome and big hug to those reading from conflict zones.
Here is a small life update.
The Bookends of Grief
As an ACA and a quieter personality type, my instinct has never been to draw attention to myself. I prefer to do my work quietly and avoid rocking the boat. I learned early how to move with stealth and to complete my responsibilities without being seen. For some of us, staying quiet was the only way we remained safe.
But life often pushes us toward the very thing we fear most.
Two weeks after losing my soul dog, I was forced to set aside my grief when I realized that proposed changes at my workplace were unfair and legally questionable. There comes a moment when you must choose between swallowing an undeniable truth to preserve the status quo or speaking up and risking everything.
I was terrified. At that point, I must admit, rage fueled me. No one likes being underappreciated. More than that, no one likes being treated like a fool.
I had once believed that large institutions operated ethically simply because they were established. Realizing that this was not always true was a profound shock. I decided I would do what I could to protect myself, my coworkers, and our livelihoods.
It required stepping far outside my comfort “safe” zone. Once I started, there was no turning back. I immersed myself in Japanese labor law. If I was not working, I was researching, strategizing, and anticipating. Eventually, I succeeded in forcing them to reconsider and delay a corporate policy that would have financially harmed us.
At first, I fought alone. Then my workplace partially unionized and we entered months of collective bargaining. It was slow, stressful and uncertain. At work, executives described me as someone logical who presented issues but also proposed solutions. Rather than being ostracized for unionizing, I found myself having to speak across both sides.
Reclaiming My Name
During this same period, I went to family court to request permission to reclaim my maiden surname, my mother’s family name. For more than ten years I had used my ex-husband’s surname. Before my grandmother passed, she had quietly asked me to reclaim our name and be the last line of our family. Because so much time had passed since my divorce, I needed formal approval from the court. The process was complicated and there was a lot of paperwork, but once the judge heard my reasons, he immediately granted the request.
The Last Visit
At the end of August, I lost my aunt. The cheerful matriarch of our family. She had been worried about my position as a vocal unionized worker. In Japan, unionizing is still viewed cautiously. I reassured her that labor protections exist and that things are different now.
The last time I visited her hospital room, we held hands. She was unable to speak, so we communicated through quiet, knowing glances filled with tears. I left her room with a heavy heart, but something told me to turn back. I peeked in and blew her kisses. She smiled and laughed softly, trying to catch one with her weakened hand. I blew more kisses. More smiles. Then a small wave.
I wondered if it would be the last time I saw her. I told myself no.
She passed the next day.
Again, there was no space for grief. We were still fighting for fairer contracts. I could not collapse. We held our ground. Eventually we secured unlimited term contracts with significantly improved conditions. In Japan, unlimited term contracts represent the highest level of job security. Through the support of our union, we achieved far more than any of us imagined possible.
October 2024 I lost Sofie.
August 2025 I lost my aunt.
October 2025 I signed a fair and secure contract.
In some ways, I wish there had been more stillness. Time to collapse. Time to honor their passing quietly. There is guilt that I could not give their deaths the respect and softness they deserved. But I had to stay focused. I had to protect myself and others. I would like to believe they both understand. There is no end date on grief. It comes in waves … until eventually it becomes part of you.
The Unfortunate Gift of a Difficult Past
This is not an easy reflection, but I realized something recently. I am built differently. Many of us are.
Growing up with domestic violence and an alcoholic father, and later surviving a ten year abusive marriage, taught my brain to anticipate danger. My trauma response required me to think several steps ahead. In this fight, that instinct became a professional skill.
Through this fight, I realized that I carry high level survival skills. You may carry them too. There can be a strategic version of us that emerges when needed, one that thinks clearly and calmly even when afraid.
I also came to understand that sometimes institutions can operate in ways that mirror unhealthy dynamics. They may rely on you being sweet, compliant, uninformed. But when you research, gather support, and speak clearly, you completely remove their advantage. Silence is no longer the only option. Strategically speaking out can be powerful. You may discover this about yourself one day too. There is a strategic version of you that is far more powerful than the frightened version. It is possible to move from reacting to power to directing it in ways that build a steadier life.
Finding Balance in an Unsettled World
I am working full time now and trying to recover from the tremendous stress of the past year. I did not have enough rest. I did not spend enough time with loved ones. I am learning how to restore balance.
I will continue writing here when I can. This space remains important to me. At the moment, however, I find myself distracted by developments unfolding in Japan’s political landscape. Of course, change is happening everywhere. The world feels unsettled in many places.
I am trying to stay informed and advocate against negative and unjust trends. I am also trying to stay grounded, to work, to care for the people around me, and to protect what is good.
I believe there is still so much good in the world and many of us have an extraordinary capacity to love, to endure, to adapt, and to stand up for one another.
In the end, I believe we are going to be okay.
正義は勝つ (Seigi wa katsu)
“Justice wins.”
With Love from my little corner of the world to yours,
Sofie
