Dear Friends,
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed for no clear reason, this post is here to help you gently reset.
A word, a memory, a moment. For me, as an ACA, sometimes it’s not even a memory that triggers me. It might come from seeing something real and heartbreaking, seeing cruelty, reading about suffering or feeling that deep tiredness from realizing how much pain exists. Sometimes it might come from being a feeling person in a hurting world. You might not even realize it right away, just a feeling of unease or tightening in your chest, a queasy feeling in your stomach, maybe later a wave of emotions that doesn’t match the day.
Here are a few gentle ways to come back to yourself, when you feel emotionally shaken or triggered. Just choose what feels comforting and do it in your own way.
Take Yourself to a Quieter Space
If possible, step away. Take yourself to a private space or make one for yourself.
Some feelings might come up, you might feel vulnerable and a little unsteady. Give the feelings a safer place to be met.
A quiet room, a closed door, a small corner near a window. A gentle cocoon of stillness.
But if you’re outside or in public, try putting on headphones, even without music, they can be a soft boundary. Put on your shades or literally step into the shade. Turn your back to the crowd. Let your gaze rest on one steady thing, a tree, a wall, the sky.
A little quiet. A little stillness. Just enough to find yourself again.
Lower the Lights
Draw the curtains, lower the lights and light a candle.
Soft lighting, candlelight, or simply dimming the room can help shift your nervous system into a state of calm.
Your body listens to these cues more than you think.
Temple Tapping
In Amy Schuer’s work, she shares a gentle grounding practice known as Temple Tapping. It can be especially helpful when positive words aren’t working and your thoughts begin to spiral.
To try it, use your forefingers to gently tap your temples, the sides of your head, alternating left, right, left, right.
As you tap, breathe in slowly. Then exhale longer than you inhale.
This simple rhythm can help calm the stress response and remind your body that you are safe.
You can explore more of Amy Schuer’s practices on her YouTube channel if you’d like to learn directly from her.
Water as a Reset
Water remembers how to hold you. Let it.
Run your hands under cool or warm water, whatever your body wants. Let it flow over your wrists or splash your face gently. Drink slowly. Sit with a warm cup and feel it enter your body. Or stand beneath the shower and imagine the water rinsing off what you don’t need.
Water can help reset the nervous system, quiet looping thoughts, and reconnect you with something steady. You don’t need a whole ritual. Just a moment with water can shift everything.
Gentle Touch
If you can, change into soft, comfy clothing.
Let your wrists move in soft circles, then your shoulders. Your neck. Loosen your jaw and breathe out.
Place your hand on your chest or belly and rub small, slow circles, just enough to remind your body that it’s safe.
Are you holding your breath? Release that stale air and let your chest relax. You are safe.
After, hug a pillow or wrap yourself in a big, soft blanket. Let yourself feel held. It’s okay to need softness. Especially now.
Incense, Palo Santo or Salt
Do a ritual to energetically cleanse your space. This tiny act can create a gentle shift. I think of it like opening a window in a stuffy room and letting out that stale heavy air.
In my home, incense is a small quiet purifying ritual that resets the energy. My favorite scent is Japanese osmanthus. For others, it might be saying a prayer, burning sage, palo santo, sprinkling salt or simply placing salt near the doorway as we do in Japan.
Just let the ritual feel meaningful to you. It’s a way of saying: this space is safe now.
You are allowed to make yourself and your space feel safe.
Ambient Sound or Grounding Music
Some people do well with silence, but when I’m spiraling, I don’t like too much quiet as it makes my thoughts seem louder.
Soft rain sounds, slow jazz, the rhythmic hush of waves coming to the shore, sound bowls or any music that speaks to your nervous system.
It will help the mind soften, relax and release.
Comforting Food
A warm drink or light snack can help soothe your system and take away that unsettled feeling.
For me, it’s tea, sweet chai and buttered toast. There’s something about the gentle warmth, the aromatic spices and the sweetness.
It’s a simplicity that helps me come back to myself. It’s comforting.
Maybe for you, it’s soup or a favorite childhood food.
A little warmth, nourishment, nostalgia, and grounding all in one.
Notes to Yourself or Your Inner Child
If you feel up to it, write yourself a small note. Just a line. I’m safe now. That moment has passed.
While even a whisper to yourself is enough, write more if it feels right.
If it feels right, you might write a small note to your inner child. You could even begin with, ‘Hey little one, I see you…’
Sometimes the words come. Sometimes it’s just a feeling. Either is okay.
A Physical Reset
If the fear still lingers in your body, try this simple somatic release:
Stand on your tippy toes, and as you gently lower yourself down, let your heels drop that last inch with a soft little thud.
Feel that grounded jolt ripple through your body. As you do, say something soothing aloud, maybe It’s over now, or I’m safe in this moment.
Pick the phrase that feels most true to you. Repeat a few times.
Something That Comforts You
If it’s uncomfortable to confide in anyone, reach for an object or presence that brings calm.
A childhood stuffed toy, a soft scarf, your animal companion, just hold it close.
Let yourself be comforted. Speak out loud if you need to. Say what happened. Say how you feel.
Some things just understand.
Even if we ACAs didn’t always receive the kind of comfort we needed, it is possible to begin offering it to ourselves.
Quietly, gently, in small ways.
And the more we learn to take care of ourselves like this, the more supported we’ll feel inside.
For some of us, it’s not always easy to ask for help or even to know what we need.
But these little moments of care, a hand on the heart, a soft light, a breath, can bring us back to something steady.
Something safe. Something that says: I’m here. And I’m listening now.
There’s no rush. No expectation to bounce back or feel whole.
Just one breath at a time.
One gentle return.
It’s going to be okay.
You are doing the best you can, but you are allowed to rest. You are not alone.
You might also find a little comfort in: Feeling Triggered: A Letter to Your Inner Child